One of the most challenging things in life is when a family member has a medical emergency and has to be admitted to the hospital. What do you do? How can you help? This can seem very frustrating when you really care about that family member. This post is not about what do you do but how you deal with it.
If the family member is your child, it can be the most helpless feeling in the world. We always want to protect and help our children by taking care of them and not wanting them to feel pain.
If the family member is a parent (not grandparent, get to that in just a sec), it can be confusing. Why did this happen to my parent. As a child you feel like I have no authority, understanding, or ability to help. This makes children very sad. It is a little different once the child is an adult which is similar to that of the grandparent.
When the family member is a grandparent it is by fat one of the saddest things that you can experience. The reason I say it is sad because you feel like a grandparent is the stable thing in a family. They were present at your birth and have been an intricate part of the most important parts of your life.
They have watched you when your parents were trying to make money for the house. They have picked you up from various social engagements, which they may have also paid for. Grandparents went to bad for you when you wanted to do or try something and your parents didn’t agree. Gave you money, candy, and snacks when your parents told them not to. Grandparents love you no matter what you do. This makes it extra sad and hard to deal with when they have an emergency and have to be admitted into the hospital.
While in the hospital you wanna go to bat for them, just as hard as they went to bat for you. You want to make sure they get everything they should for their recovery and return to the energetic and fun people you remember them being.
The major challenge we deal with when it is a grandparent is dealing with the inevitable truth that they are becoming older and their body has already had a long life. That doesn’t mean they have to die at this point but how you remember them may never return.
It’s for this reason we tend to take emergencies when dealing with children and grandparents the hardest. Not saying emergencies with parents are any easier but it’s the length of time and types experiences with grandparents which make it really hard. However, with children it is the same factors just different in application.
Children in emergency situations is hard because of expectations. When they are born and are growing up you expect them to live long, healthy lives. Experience fun things and gain great knowledge and it is the emergency which looks to derail that expectation.
So with children it is about expectation, with grandparents it’s about history, and with parents it’s about both but seasoned with a purer (if that is a word) form of love. That is not to say you don’t love a child or a grandparent but a parent is different and it is hard (even right now as I am really trying) to communicate this difference.
It’s a bond that you share even if they get on your nerves and you feel they put everything before you, you don’t and won’t ever let someone speak bad about them, mistreat them, or put their hands on them. Why is this? It is a bond.
So, in retrospect of this above post a parent and a sibling may be the hardest to internally deal with as it is the same bond that bonds and immediate family together. But in conclusion, it’s all family. Love them, care for them, protect them, side with them, and do whatever you can to ensure their safety and return to full health in emergency situations.
If you have ever had to deal with this in your life I’d like to hear your story in the comments below.
I like how you put the difference between child and grandparent. One being expectations and the other history. GREAT CONNECTION! I recently dealt with my father in an emergency situation and again I agree with the connection you made because it’s a bond you feel that’s different also from expectation and history. For me it was like my super hero was hurt? Or could this take my super hero away from me. Because although we are adults we can still see our parents (especially fathers) as a strength and guide (especially mothers) and it’s hard to grasp that they may not be “that” anymore. I hope that makes sense ?. Thanks for sharing your insight… Love It!