it is so important to have positive relationships. no matter what kind of relationships they are: romantic, friendship, partnership, or working.
the thing about relationships is that they affect you. you start to pick up on their habits, their lingo, and their mindset. so you can see how important it is to watch your relationships.
i know from experience that a negative relationship can affect you, too, negatively. if all your friends do is party then that is all you’re going to do. and i know you’re probably thinking: “well K, i think i can handle going to a few parties every now and again but still remain balanced with life.” and you very well might be able to, but it also might take over your life.
it might take over your life because you go out a couple of times with your friends and before you know it they’re asking you to come out every weekend and “turn up” with them. and while you might be having fun with them this will become the only way that you will be able to have “quality time” with them.
OR you can have a party friend, one that is strictly for the turn up, but also have other friends that have goals and ambitions. you do not want to fall into the trap and end up being 45, working a 9 to 5, and going to house parties on the weekends. have some goals and go obtain them, please…
SN: you can turn up all you want. i am not saying be homebody like me, but even i like to go to a fun party every once in a while and have a good time.
but, just be aware that their habits become your habits whether good or bad. if you and your best friend always make late night food runs at 2/3 o’clock in the morning then, of course, you both will end up gaining weight. especially if the only thing you guys do to spend time together are eating and sleeping.
however, not all is lost. you CAN turn a negative relationship into a positive relationship — if both parties are willing to put in the effort. so instead of only eating and sleeping, you could go to Defy Gravity/SkyZone or a roller skating rink and burn up some energy/calories.
relationships are give and take from both ends. no one can give too much or there will be an uneven balance.
one thing that i have to have in any kind of relationship is a lot of encouragement. honestly, i get a little in my feelings occasionally, whether it be about specific details of my life or just a general mood i’m in, but i expect encouragement. i expect this because i give a lot of it to my friends/family. i’m also a great listener and advice give-r, if i do say so myself *hairflip*
i enjoying helping people make life altering decisions and give them that little extra push they need to take that chance. so far i have encouraged 3 people to cut their hair off like i did and they each have done it. and they have each told me that it was one of the best things they could have done. you’re welcome *wink*
now sometimes these expectations aren’t met, and if not then you should definitely COMMUNICATE what you expect. communication is key, but that is an entirely different post in itself.
if after you have communicated what you want from the relationship and it’s not being given… AND there is no compromise then i highly suggest you check out my previous post about doing “what is best for you?”
talk about your expectations. communication is key!
right now i can say i am in a good place with all my relationships. grant it, i don’t talk to my friends everyday, but whenever they need me i am only a call/facetime/text/tweet away. all of my friends are each something different to me and they are no more or less important than the next, same with my family — my friends are part of my family.
you: “K, how do i know if the relationship i’m in is a positive one?”
and that’s very simple to answer. do you feel at peace around them? do you find yourself enjoying their company? when you leave from being around them do you feel full — like they didn’t drain you?
if you answered yes to these questions then i’m about 80% sure that you’re in a pretty positive relationship (but i could be wrong, use your gut senses. your gut never leads you wrong). when i’m with my friends i never want to leave. they each encourage me in different ways, they are listeners, reliable, and all around great people with great hearts. i never feel drained after hanging out/talking to them, if anything they give me more energy and put me in such a better mood.
and if you don’t have friends like that then you, my friend, are missing out.