So, this post marks the end of a chapter and the beginning of *another one* *DJ Khaled voice*. I am only seventeen and that alone is a weird statement. Some would say I’m so young and that I have the rest of my life to… live. But in the same sense many others would argue that everyday I sit at home alone is a day wasted. I wouldn’t necessarily say that I agree with either one of these radical statements. I do think that I have lots of time left (I don’t plan on dying anytime soon) and I also think that sometimes I spend a bit too much time by myself. I’m fine being alone and I’ve learned to enjoy those moments, but I think that the time is now. I can’t trap myself anymore in the this bubble I’ve created. In the past, I believed that I was doing what was best for myself. I thought that staying alone was good. There were many moments when I wanted to go places and meet people, but those moments were short lived because I didn’t think I could be that person. You know. The person that is always going places and meeting new people. The person that stays in one place for two seconds and goes somewhere else because they can’t stand being still for too long.
But. Things are changing in my life. Big things.
I will no longer be living my life the way I’ve lived it for the past seventeen years. I will be embarking on a new journey with my family and this will be nothing like anything I have ever done in my entire life. I’ve only ever lived in one state my entire life. I have never been of the east side of the US and that is just pitiful. There is so much world; so much earth; so many people; so many things; and I’m going to see it all. This not wishful thinking anymore. I am serious. I’m going to see the world. Sooner than you know.
I’m standing on the edge of life. And now. I’m jumping.
so, you much like me, must be wondering where the heck Justin Bieber has gone? Well let me be the first to tell you he hasn’t left. are you confused? let me explain. (mind you I am referring to music in this post, btw)
So Justin released an album awhile ago titled “Purpose.” Which I like to call his redemption album because he was doing a bunch of crazy stuff during and after his release of the album “Journals.” This may be where you are his “Purpose” album came out and you haven’t heard any new music since. Personally, I’d like to believe he is making an amazing album right now and it’s going to be a major hit when it comes out but, in the meantime what are you going to do? Tired of replaying all his old songs? Can’t seem to find any new music from him? I have come to put you out of your misery.
Justin has actually released a lot of singles and no they are not his, so maybe that is why you are missing them. Technically what he is doing right now is featuring on other people’s albums and he is killing it. Did you expect anything less? These are all his new songs since the “Purpose” album. Binge listen to them over and over again like I did (and am still doing). Maybe these wonderful songs can hold you over until the big release of his next album….
COLD WATER by MAJOR LAZER ft. JUSTIN BIEBER & MO
LET ME LOVE YOU by DJ SNAKE ft. JUSTIN BIEBER
DEJA VU by POST MALONE ft. JUSTIN BIEBER
i have listened to all these songs and “deja vu” is the newest one and let me just tell you it is ah-mazing 😉
so the summer will be over very shortly for me in the sense that i am going back to school the week after next and i’m not too sure what that means just yet for my blog…
so if you’ve been reading my blog for a long time you would know that during the school year my blog is very unsuccessful. i think last year i wasn’t as worried or passionate about my blog as i am now. i think it took me a while to realize what my blog could really be and what it already is. on the first week of school i had a post everyday ft my first week of school outfits but, soon after that was over there was pretty much no content on this site. frankly i didn’t really like it but, me being the person i am (a huge perfectionist) i just knew that i had to cut something out of my life for that time being to really focus on school. i think now i am starting to be a better planner and i think things will work out this year for the better. i’m managing my time very well and prioritizing and it takes a lot of self control to choose not to do something “fun” and to stay and work on your blog instead but, i think in the log run it will be worth it.
i have kind of taken this thought process and i’m putting it in every aspect of my life. like working out for instance. honestly, i’m not in love with actually working out but, how if feel afterwards (other than hurting briefly) i feel amazing. it lets me know that i am fit and that i can reach my #bodygoals. and i just want to be healthy and ugh i cannot even put everything i want to be into words but, i do know that if i take small steps, conquering one thing at a time i will see results in every place in my life and i don’t regret what i am doing now because i know i’m going to be great.
so i guess the update is that i will blog during the school year but, probably not as much as i am now over the summer because i want to see what i can handle. i will probably just begin with one post per week and i don’t think that is too much to ask for.
alright well i guess nothing else is really changing so see ya
so basically i don’t hang out with anybody but, my family lol
really though i do everything with these guys. and here you are about to see some pretty dope photos of me and the fam doing some serious fitness. usually we’ll go to the gym, track or stairs but today we decided to be a fancy and go to a field. i know “what the heck did you do there?” well there was lots of running, squats, and push-ups. there just so happened to be a football sled there and we used that + people on top of that and pushed it for a certain distance. great workout but those things are super heavy if you didn’t know. football players make it look so easy but, i guess you have to be seriously packin’ to push it.
oh. hey. um. i didn’t know you were going to be here. yeah, same. i haven’t seen you in forever either. how’s life? oh, that’s good i guess. alright well nice seeing you again. don’t be a stranger text me later.
we have all been through that super weird and awkward conversations with someone from our past it could be a friend, a girl/boy friend or even an ex-best friend (those are always the worst suspects). when you see these people at first you try to go for the “oh i didn’t see you there” and ignore their presence until they say something to you and if they don’t you are perfectly good with that even happy that they didn’t say something to you because if they had it would have been the most stupidest conversation you have ever had in your entire life. but some people choose to go go for the “talk to you first and leave.” so here you end up seeing someone you used to see like all the time and you are like and can’t ignore them we used to be so close and for whatever reason in your mind you feel like you need to recreate how good your relationship was when you used to ahem have a relationship. so you talk to them first and try to drag out the conversation (isn’t that the worst) and hug with greetings and partings. i personally think these are the worst because you haven’t been trying to talk to me for the last however long we haven’t been talking and now suddenly you want to have some super long conversation with me when i really probably have somewhere to be. no thanks. this next one is the best one yet the “neither one of us want to talk but we’ll head nod and keep it pushing” long title i know but this is great and i do this one all the time. sometimes i don’t even know if they wanted to talk to me but, i generally don’t really care and i’ll just give the old head nod or maybe a wave and a smile and keep going about my business.
now in all this i am not saying that i don’t like talking to anyone i used to know or that i am just some uppity girl that can’t talk to anyone. that is definitely not what i am saying but, i am saying that i would rather not have to go into all the theatrics (even though i love theater) of trying to have some fake happy conversation with you. that is the last thing i want to do. talk to you like i am happy to see you when i don’t even know you anymore. usually for me it depends on what our relationship was like and how it ended or how we grew apart to know how i will treat you when i see you in five years.
i guess you could just say i don’t like playing games and wasting time so if you don’t like me why when i see you in the mall do you want to create some big ole conversation with me like you are my bestfriend?
so i want to know why does it have to be so awkward anyway? why can’t people just do what comes naturally and if that is not speaking at all and just giving a smile why can’t they just do that? why do people feel like they need to fake something for the other person? trust, we will survive without it.
i hope you guys don’t think i am in a bad place or i have experienced this lately but, it just came to mind and i figured this is a good place to rant about it. that’s why you are here reading this right? because you care about my opinion. if not just tell me what you do want to read about or if you don’t want to read lol.
Tweet wait… what!! you are sixteen already? H16BD SKYEEEE you guys remember Skyzha right? we made a YouTube Channel together called “the collections” and we take pictures together. if you want to see that post click here. so yesterday I went the Cheesecake Factory (which I had never been to before yesterday) and it was […]
wow wow wow. it seems like just last week i was a freshman in high school. i can still remember everything about that day.
think for a second… how far back in your life can you remember your first days of school. i can remember my first day of the third grade and that’s about as far back as it goes for me. my first day of third grade was super crazy and i think that is why i’ll never forget it.
i was going to this school that had three grades in one classroom (1-3 graders, 4-6 graders and 7-8 graders). so obviously i was in third grade and my mom walked me to class as per usual (she still does this now) and i set everything up in my locker and at my new desk and honestly i was kind of scared. and you may be like “yeah well, everybody gets scared on the first day of school” but, i was terrified and that was not common for me (i’m a very confident girl). i was mostly scared because everyone was big and tall and they looked unusually “grown”. the whole time in my mind i’m thinking “these cannot all be 1-3 graders, these people are huge”. so for what seemed like years of waiting we were finally called to this “circle” area and the teacher said he was going to take roll call because we had one student too many and there weren’t enough lockers for everyone. so naturally i was completely confused as to why this school would put too many students in one class but, i figured the problem would be resolved shortly after this roll call. the teacher ordered everyone to move to one side of the room after their name was called so we could see who did not belong in this class. as everyone’s names began to be called and everyone moved i was still sitting there until the end. honestly, looking back on this story now i should have known that i was the wrong person to be in the room because my last name is Barber and i should have been one of the first names to be called (plus i was super small). eventually i was taken to the front office to find my right classroom and when we did i felt so much more at home there. (get this, when i went to fourth grade the next year i was back in the classroom that i thought was mine the year before lol)
so anyway i guess sometimes it’s good to reflect on your life and really look at how you overcame problems and obviously i didn’t die of embarrassment since i am living to tell the tale. this makes me feel much better about being a junior this year. it simply reminds me that people make mistakes and the world will not be over if you do.
i think i am making this post today because i am (much like that first day of third grade) unusually scared for my first day of 11th grade. and i really don’t know why because things really could not be better for me and in my life right now. i go to school in a couple weeks and i think i am actually starting to realize that this is a very telling year for me. in a way i think this year really shows my character and i think the rest of my life almost hinges on this school year. yeah there will be senior year and things are definitely important that year and things change that year as well but, this year is super important. i am taking all of these classes that i know i need so i don’t have a bunch of missing credits next year. i am creating study habits for the rest of my life. i need to decide what i want to do for the rest of my life. where i want to go to college for sure. obviously i have ideas because i made sure i was sure of myself before i even got into high school but, it is so different now because everything is so close and anything can happen now. one wrong decision and everything i’ve worked for and everything i have been shaped to do would go down the drain.
i try not to think about these things too much because it is really scary thinking about tomorrow and what it holds for my life. but i think i have realized that i need to live in the now, of course know the bigger picture and have goals but i can’t just look at what i want to happen in the future, i need to make steps now in my life that get me towards my bigger goal. i am living by this new question that my mom showed me “What’s the one thing I know I can accomplish today that will help me move in the direction I want to go?” this way i won’t be overwhelmed all the time.
the moral of the story here is believe in yourself and make mistakes because it’s the only way you’ll learn but, don’t worry about tomorrow because tomorrow will still be there tomorrow (lol) but today won’t be here forever so live it to the fullest (and make sure you are in the right class on your first day of school 🙂 )
if you made it all the way down here thanks for reading all this (i know it was a lot) thanks for your support
Tweet it was recently my dad’s birthday and he wanted to go skating so…. we went skating. and it was so much fun. i love skating and if you didn’t know, i also went skating for my sixteenth birthday last month and i had so much fun with my friends. from the left: TreBz, HelloKhaiyah, […]
Tweet um, what? willow smith is literally me in so many ways. i #loveher so we know that willow smith was already doin some stuff with Chanel and now she is doing eyewear and it looks so amazing. i love the campaign and i would definitely get some of these Chanel shades and glasses (or […]